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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 18.06.2025 08:23

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Why did my 2001 4.6 liter Mustang GT V8 make "only" 260 HP while today's base Dodge 3.6 liter V6 churns out almost 300 HP? Both benefit from fuel injection and ECUs.

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

Has a cop ever said something to you which was completely unexpected?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

Are there any penalties for bestiality in the USA and laws prohibiting it?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”